iDear FanFiction Writers
by Mary Rachel
Summary: It's an obligation, really...A humourous look at the fanfics in the iCarly fandom. I don't ship, so this should be fair. SUBMISSIONS WELCOME!
1. Spam Not The Lunch Meat

**I'MMMMMMMMMMM ! Yeah, no. This isn't the much awaited (tongue-in-cheek) sequel to my PJO fic that I keep promising. No, I am on a iCarly kick! And I felt it was high time for one of these: YES ITS COMING! A "DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS"! VERSION ICARLY! **

**(Yes, I am aware that that paragraph was both grammatically incorrect, and super-saturated with exclamation points). I'm sorry, but this needs to be done. Now, I mean no offense to anybody who ships anything or anyone that I mention. This is purely humorous, meant to poke fun. So laugh!**

**Disclaimer: Hi, I am Dan Schneider. I made a Fan Fiction account so I can write all about my spins on iCarly. **

**{_Dan,__you__do__own__iCarly..._}**

**Oh, wait. If I own iCarly, then I don't need a Fan Fiction account. BYE!**

Dear Fan Fiction Writers,

I understand that I am strange. However, I would like to point out a glaring obvious fact: Sam is 17. I am 29. Do the math.

Sincerely,

Spencer

**I won't ask how good or bad it was, nor will I beg for reviews. Let this stand or fall on its own merit. Just enjoy! (If you do want to review, I won't stop you...)**


	2. Disrespectfully Yours, Sam

**Sorry for lack of updates. Senior year is crazy, with the school play and cheerleading and honors work and...well, you get the idea. Meh. **

**P.S Tonight is my birthday party! **

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Never. Would. I. Ever. Date. GIBBY! He draws faces on fruit and drinks corn juice. Just because he doesn't take his shirt off randomly anymore doesn't mean he is any less of a weirdo.

No. Just no.

Disrespectfully Yours,

Sam

P.S. I still think he is a mermaid!

**Once again, not hating on any ships, or characters. Just poking fun. (I 3 Gibby, he makes me laugh so much. I was watching iCarly, and crying because I broke up with my boyfriend, and he walks out of the elevator: "GIBEEHH." I cracked up so hard that I fell off my couch!) Think of this as a political cartoon, and don't take it seriously :)**


	3. One Emotional Puckett

**Lalalala...Oh, wait. Sorry. Update time. Seriously, you don't have throw stuff at me! I've been super busy. Lol, I'll shut up now:**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

What's with all this "Pucketts don't cry" chizz? I may be vicious, but I do have emotions, and I CAN express them! Geez...:P

Looovvveee, Sam


	4. In Love With Life, Carly

**Two chapters in one day! And finished the Common App! I am amazing!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I don't understand. I'm lovable, pretty, smart, and a great friend. I'm also 33.3 % of iCarly!

Why, then, must you kill me off in so many painful ways? What's the matter with me?

In love with life,

Carly


	5. Sincerely, Sam And Freddie

**You guys are seriously the best reviewers ever! Thanks for all the positive comments!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

We are going to say this only once:

WE BROKE UP! GET OVER IT!

(Just because we love each other, and possibly maybe want to get back together a tiny little bit doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do.)

Sincerely,

Sam and Freddie

**Don't hate me! I love Seddie as much as the next person!**


	6. Missy's Coming

**In celebration of me submitting my application to the University of Rochester last night, a new chapter for you fine readers, dedicated to the fabulous reviewers who made me smile! **

**P.S. Thanks to emeralddusk for this idea!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Sure, I sent Sam to a Mexican candy factory. And gave her rancid foreign chocolate. And basically tried to destroy her.

But I was just a child then.

I've matured, and I realize the error of my ways.

I am no longer evil.

Just revenge thirsty...

Love,

Missy


	7. Trust Me, I'm A Doctor

**Haha. Funny story. I got stuck in quicksand-like mud today. Really cold mud. Lost my shoes. Yeah, not fun...**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Why do you find it so weird that I sell food on a stick? Personally, I think it enhances the attraction of the product if it is impaled on a stick. Says the Doctor of Smoothieology. Yah know, me.

Sincerely,

T-Bo

P.S. Wanna buy a churro? Two for five bucks!


	8. I Just Want To Be A Real Girl

**This one was submitted by the lovely and talented popcorn1001. Thank you!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I AM REAL!

Sincerely,

Melanie Puckett

**I was reading my email, saw this suggestion, and burst out laughing. My friend (the one who doesn't know I read fanfiction) was like "What?" and I was like "Oh, nothing." Now she is miffed at me. **


	9. NOT a Baby Daddy!

**My deepest apologies for going off for so long, but I've been so busy. I have a research paper to write, a lab report for physics, and senior honors to work on. Plus, the holidays are always hectic. Additionally, I just got a new computer ( :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD), but I couldn't find the files with the chapters that I prewrote. So I had to write a couple from memory. Please be patient while I find theme. But, since I swore up and down that I will NEVER do an AN chapter, here is another colorful note from your favorite characters, whining about the things that we write on this lovely website.**

**Best,**

**Mary Rachel**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I did not, repeat, DID NOT knock up Sam in the elevator. Would you give me a little credit, please?

Sincerely,

Freddie


	10. Gibby Who Else?

**Awww, you guys make me blush! Thanks for reviewing and favoriting this chizz. **

**Thanks to these lovely reviewers for reviewing the story: popcorn1001, Julefor, MakingItShine, jhuikmn08, emeralddusk, Samantha Nicole Trewyn, MoviePal, Fernose Nav. Y, XxUnleashed-imaginationxX, AllSarcasmIntended, Princess of the BookWorms, annierocket, Oceanmistsupporter, The Writing Princess, coiwy1, and Mistymoozer (who didn't review, but favorited this up, and put me on her alerts. Thanks! You get a virtual Oreo!)**

**I will try to reply to the reviews for the last chapter when I revive my cell phone, or my internet stops being sucky. You get a new computer, and you would think that maybe the Powers above would grant you a better connection. But nooooooooooooooooo…..**

**Keep the ideas coming. I am only one person, and I have so little time to think nowadays…**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Dang! I am gonna be AWESOME when I am twenty-five. Thanks!

-GIBBEEEHHH

**Oh, Gibby…What Gibby wants, Gibby gets. ;D**


	11. CamALot

**I'm so glad that people are still reading my stuff, and actually like it. Thanks for keeping the story alive! I was sitting at my computer, doing college stuff when suddenly my email alert goes off like a jackhammer! I love you guys! (Virtual cookie to the person who tells me what episode that is from.)**

**Thanks to my reviewers: The Littlest Ragamuffin (who reviewed Chapter 9, but I forgot to mention her. I am appropriately embarrassed…), annierocket, MakingItShine,**** HeyHeyIt'sEmC, WriteAllNightAndDay, Seddielova2894, AllSarcasmIntended,** **SeDdIeLuVeR13, and Julefor **

**Thanks also to the people who favorite and alerted both this story, and me! It really makes me feel good when someone thinks my stuff is good enough that they might want to see more from me. Thank you. **

**This idea was submitted by ****HeyHeyIt'sEmC (the words you see are all hers. My diseased brain did not come up with this one. Thanks, by the way. I was kicking a couple Cam ideas around, but this was much better than any of my ideas.)**

**Couples of you guys have asked me why I center my stuff. Reason: I don't know. I just like stuff centered. Call me OCD…**

**Oh, by the way…HAPPY NEW YEAR! IT'S 2012, AND THIS IS MY FIRST POST OF THE NEW YEAR!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

We're flattered that you think we would make a cute couple in your fantasies,  
>but really? Do you all know the difference between fantasy and really far-fetched ideas? We do. IT MEANS THAT CAM IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!<p>

Sincerely,

Carly and Sam

**It's a hot issue, whether or not shows aimed at younger kids ought to bring up the idea of same-sex relationships. Personally, I would be okay with it, as long as the ****graphic details**** are censored out, like any other kids show with opposite sex relationships. But that's just one opinion out of many.**

**P.S I finished ALL of my applications! Now I just gotta kick back, and hopefully somewhere will take me:P**


	12. I'm Not Samorexic

**I won't bore you with a spiel about how I couldn't update, so busy, I'm the worst person in the world, blah blah blah. Just accept this chapter as my humble apology.**

**BIG THANKS to the people who favorited, alerted, and reviewed: HeyHeyItsEmC, The Littlest Ragamuffin, Kaitley, Moviepal, Sarcastic Coffee Love, xXFearlessLoveSeddieXx, and White Knightro. (Apologies if I missed anyone.)**

**This special chapter was requested by Kaitley and SeDdIeLuVeR13 **

**Special thank you to Samantha Nicole Treywn for mentioning me on her running list of recommended fics: iMust Read. Thank you, it's beyond an honor to be mentioned!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Well, owing to the copious amounts of ham, bacon, Fat Cakes, and various other food items that I shovel in my mouth daily, I think it's pretty safe to say that I don't have an eating disorder.

Fast metabolism, people.

Sincerely,

Sam


	13. Spenrissa? Dear Gosh, NO!

**Okay, okay, I know. I'm late. Really late. I'm sorry! There is, however, a legitimate excuse this time. I have (trumpets please) COMPLETED MY SENIOR HONORS PROJECT!**

**Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.**

**Anyway, my project was to write an original story and get it published. So I wrote a really cool sci-fi story about a teenager who finds that she is descended from an ancient intergalactic coven, and has to save her planet from destruction. (Cliché, right?)**

**In the spirit of friendship, mutual writership, and other "ships", I ask that you forgive my tardiness, and go onto my very own indie publishing site, Writer's Bookshelf (I have quite the knack for unoriginal names)! This is the URL: http : / / www . maryrachel . webs . com (remove the spaces). I swear on my writers quill that this site is legitimate. The story isn't up yet (pending final approval from my mentor), but I will post it much in the style of FanFiction posts: a new update once a week or so.**

**I really want this story to be a success, so I am begging you to at least hit it up. Expect at least one post in the next couple of weeks.**

**And now, in my ongoing pledge to never publish an AN only chapter, the latest installment of iDear FanFiction Writers!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I will never, ever, NEVER date Spencer Shay. It's a miracle that I let my Freddiebear associate with that insane, zombie-loving, womanizing, loose cannon of a pyromaniac.

I would rather pop my sister's head blisters and rub her thigh rash every day for the rest of my life.

Sincerely yours,

Marissa Benson

**If you would review, go to my Senior Honors Project site instead. For me, please.**


	14. A Reality Check By Neville

**THANK YOU!**

**You guys who went and checked out my site are FABULOUS! Thanks for doing that. Just an update: I received final approval from my mentor. I have to finish the presentation for the Board, but you should expect the first chunk to be up no later than Monday! YAY! SO FREAKING EXCITED! If you haven't seen the site yet, the URL is http : / / www. maryrachel . webs . com (remove spaces).**

**And now, another satirical comment on the FanFiction of iCarly (Thank you, AP Lit )!**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I, Neville Amadeus Papperman, do not ship. Not Seddie, not Creddie, NOTHING. The only thing I would ship is the beautiful destruction of iCarly.

(Perhaps a few shippers of Ceville wouldn't hurt…)

Sincerely,

Neville A. Papperman

**Is that the ship name for Neville and Carly? Is there even one?**


	15. The Ghost of iOMG Past

**It's up! It's up!**

**Well, actually, it was up Thursday.**

**What? The first chapter of my story, of course!**

**Go check it out! http : / / www . maryrachel . webs . com (remove spaces).**

**If you like my fanfics, and you are a little tired of iCarly, go read some orginal work by **_**moi**_**! (It's what kept me from updating for five months, so you might as well see what the fuss is all about).**

**Enough of this blabber.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I know it's been a long time, but this is just ridiculous.

Repeat after me.

I. AM. NOT. ON. ICARLY. ANYMORE.

Did you get that?

Sincerely,

Brad

P.S How in the world would you know that my last name is Peters?

**For all you Schneider's Bakery fans out there, did you catch a little reference to one of his old shows? See if you can tell what show it's from. (Bonus points if you can also tell me what episode it's from )**


	16. Saying Goodbye With Love

**Dear FanFiction Writers,**

We dearly love you all: for your creative imagination, for your wonderful stories, for your true fan-love. We may be all grown up, but we live on through you. Thank you for being the best family ever.

Love,

Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby, and Spencer

P.S. ENOUGH WITH THE SHIPPING WARS ALREADY!

iCarly started when I was starting 8th grade, the hardest year of my life. I was struggling with a lot of stuff, but watching these kids who I could completely relate to helped me grow. When iGoodbye premiered, I'd just turned 18, and I'd started college. Just like me, the iCarlies were moving on with their lives and saying goodbye to childhood.

This is my last post for this story, and my last iCarly story. I will still write every day, but it's time to close this chapter. Thank you to my followers for supporting me. Remember: iCarly may be over, but the story lives on in us.

Rock on, iCarlies. Live life a little more randomly. :,)


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